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A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them.
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
I just ran a .003048K
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.