Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
is available for rebound sex.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.