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Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
Whenever you hear the phrase "Oh no he didn`t" you can rest assured that he did.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure