Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
I`ve been baptized five times this week in five different churches. I wish the landlord would hurry up and fix my shower.
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…