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Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
"nice crocs. where did you get them?" - nobody ever
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.