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What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
Weekends are like a orgasm.. It`s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do it`s over in no time
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
Don’t jump to confusions.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...