Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.