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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more sh!t that comes out your mouth.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)