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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Your personality needs alcohol.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.