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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.