Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.