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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire.
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?