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Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn`t reach the cookies in the cupboard.
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.