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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.