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I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying