Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
I think Iām allergic to mornings.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
The nice thing about being single is when you`re setting the silverware, it doesn`t matter which side you put the remote on.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
Iām moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.