Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.