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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.