Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?