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My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?