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I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.