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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
I always advise people never to give advice.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly