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It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.