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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
So much to do and so few alibis.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”