Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Cannibals don`t drink coffee ... They have a cup of Joe instead.
The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"