Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.