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The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending Iām being possessed by the devil is not funny.
I bet blind people think farts are funnier than deaf people.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.