Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Black Friday is the second closest thing to a zombie apocalypse except they want sales instead of brains.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
Just once Iād like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.