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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ``Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?``
A lot of people seem to forget their other four fingers when waving to me.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.