Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business