Daily Silly Status

If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.

sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"

All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.

If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?

I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.

I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.

Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away

Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?

Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.

If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.

Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.

I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.

I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m

If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?

I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.