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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Please don`t make me choose between you and porn.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular.
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.