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Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
When I say "It’s a long story," it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?