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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Just once Iād like to learn something the easy way.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
A man asks a trainer in a gym - "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?" Trainer replies - "use the ATM"
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.