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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
It`s not cellulite, it`s my body`s way of saying "I`m sexy" ... in braille.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.