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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
lifes a laugh, start living it!
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."