Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."