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I need my decision making privileges taken away.
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
Iām the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.