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If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Dear who ever’s reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Waitress: `Do u have any questions about the menu?` Me: `What kind of font is this?`
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
I like to walk by a chick in slow motion so she thinks i`m the one
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen