Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
You think your life is bad? I’ve got that “Five dollar foot long” song stuck in my head
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"