Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Iām holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?