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My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account