Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
I saw a midget carrying a tv to his car today. I said "hey, would you like some help with that plasma?" He said "f*ck off asshole, it`s an IPad!"
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.