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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
Saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. Must be his alarm system.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.