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Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much Iām going to eat this week.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, āI thought you were peeing?ā
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.