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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
only fights if pillows are present.
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
My mind has a mind of its own.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.