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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)