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I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
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A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.