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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
bras are booby-traps
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.