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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Gym update: not there
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.