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It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.