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Just once I`d like to yell, "Don`t you know who I am?!" because I`m important, not because I`m drunk and actually forgot.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
I wouldn`t be surprised if my kids think the phrase "goddamn douchebag" means someone who pulls out in front of your car without signaling.
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.