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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"