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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
If I say “it’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk