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Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.