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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.