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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
I only accept apologies in cash.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.
i dont have drain bramage.