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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
“It would take too long to explain…” Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.