Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.